Have you ever thought of the man you want to marry and the qualities you want him to possess? I was dating (and maybe you are too) from a Christian standpoint. Once you get closer to marriage there are a lot (trust me!) of things you need to talk about and agree on, but this list is a good start.
I don’t confess to being an expert on relationships but here are a few questions I think you should consider when dating for possible marriage.
- How does he get along with your family?
You may not think it’s a big deal but meeting his parents and him meeting yours is huge. It’s great to see how he interacts with both families. Remember, if you get married you are all family and will be spending a lot of time together.
- Does he respect you?
It’s not a bad thing if he thinks you have a hot bod, but does he tell all of his friends he has a hot girlfriend? Does he use derogatory terms to describe your beauty? You need to consider if you want to live with that the rest of your life. You should desire a guy who respects you. For more on this you should read, Honesty in Dating. Do You Know Your Worth?
- Would he be dating you if you didn’t have sex with him?
I know my audience is mostly Christian girls but let’s be honest with one another—it happens. Is the guy you’re with okay if there’s no sex until marriage? Even if that’s not a boundary you have set it can be an indicator of if he loves your body or your personality. You want a guy who loves you for who you are, not what you can give him.
- Does he love the Lord?
Faith is so important. In marriage, the man is the head of the household. No, that does not mean he gets to boss you around. It means he is responsible for and your children before God. Having a God-fearing husband can make all the difference. Make sure you both believe the same thing BEFORE you get married or you could end up frustrated and hurt.
- Can you be yourself around him?
Sometimes in our desire to be loved we grasp at the first affection we are given and do everything to keep it. Sometimes that includes not being our true self. After a while, this can cause pain and frustration. Don’t try to be someone you aren’t for a guy. When you find the right one he will love you for who you are.
- Why do you love him?
This may seem like a dumb question but think about it. Do you love him for who he is or for how he makes you feel? It’s okay to love how he makes you feel as long as you ALSO love him for who he is. Do you share interests? Hobbies? Friends? Maybe he makes you laugh or you love the way he opens the door for you. Make sure you are with him for the right reasons or it’s not fair to you or him.
Are there any other things you would add to the list? Do you think your guy is a keeper? Pray and ask God to guide you as you date. He will bring you the right man at the right time. Don’t doubt that he has great plans for you. Don’t settle for less than God’s best.